Sunday, October 4, 2009

Jitters Yield Rewards

I am a violinist. As a violinist, I have a wide array of performance opportunities for me to participate in. For the last eight I have been a soloist, and played in competitions solely for a grade. For the last six years I have been an orchestra member, allowing me to play different music in a large group. Two years ago, I was a quartet member, played a fun piece, and had a great time in the intimate setting that chamber music is. The last two months, though, I have been a part of something totally new and different.

Starting this summer, I have been a part of our fall musical, titled I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change.




The show is awesome in many, many ways. First of all, it is downright hilarious. Even after seeing the whole show seemingly hundreds of times, I still laughed during the final show. Also, the way the show is written in a style that is very intimate with the actors and the audience. It is normally only a cast of four, but we used up to twelve in certain scenes.

As a musician, the music in the show is incredible. Written by Jimmy Roberts, the music varies from scene to scene. One scene may have a slow, dramatic sound, and the next may be a tango, for example. As a violinist, I love the fact that the orchestra consists of merely a piano and a violin. This means that I get to shine as the only violin, but I am not playing solo. In this show, I have been blessed with an amazing piano player that literally runs the show. She plays scene changes, decides the tempo, and generally coordinates the music.

This whole concept of show music and near-solo work is totally new to me, and is very exciting. In an orchestra, you have to blend, and don't get to play out to show your skills. As a soloist, you get to show your skills, but your mistakes are much more noticeable. I think that many people, especially performers, would agree that it is much better to be able to shine than to simply be assigned the same task as everyone else.





How does one then shine during performances? What do performers and people do to cope with the stress and excitement of the final presentation of their work? During our show, I saw the cast and crew dealing with the pressure with several different methods. One very popular way was to busy their selves with something to keep their mind off of the show. Some people brought laptops, some brought games, books, iPods, etc. Another method was to go at the performance head-on (apply directly to the forehead), by focusing on what they were going to be doing by practice and preparation. Rituals are another method of dealing with stress. Some people believe that doing something that worked when they succeeded will help them succeed again. Even though a performer may try to cope with the stress, rarely does it disappear entirely. The nerves show through when one paces, twiddles their thumbs, or bites their fingernails. It happens to everyone and is controllable, but incurable.

Why would humans feel stress when they are about to perform? Simple: we humans don't like to fail, and we especially don't like to be ridiculed for it. We would much rather succeed by incredible measures, and when we do, it gives us great pleasure. For me, it is the satisfaction that all the hard work I've done, the long hours I've put in, the sacrifices that I have made, all paid off in the end. I'm not one to show off very often, and I didn't even think of it before the show, but afterwards, many people came up to me and said that I was really good and that I was a huge part of the show. Some friends even told me that they didn't realize I was that good. These are the most valuable rewards for me. To hear someone tell me that they think I am good is nice, as they could be telling the truth, or they could just be saying that because it's customary. However, when a friend, someone who knows me, says that they didn't know I was that good, I feel like that are telling the truth, and I am very grateful.

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